This post is about our journey to becoming parents. First off if you read my last blog post, my husband and I got married December 2016. We talked about when we wanted to become parents before we got married and we both decided that we would start trying right away to have children. We didn’t try in December, but started in January; In February I got a positive pregnancy test! It was such a great feeling, I cried, laughed and literally jumped with excitement. I was alone at the time I took the test, because I’ve wanted to surprise William in a sweet way. I was so excited, but I couldn’t make a lab appointment right away because the next day I had to travel for 2 days for work. I told myself that once I got back from that trip I would call and schedule a lab appointment right away to test my levels. I was stressed more than usual at work, and I really did not want to go on that trip because it was winter and I was nervous about the drive. I just had a bad feeling, but everything I read on blogs said nerves in the first trimester is normal and everyone feels that at some point. The drive down was good, that day at work was good, I went shopping for a way to tell William that I was pregnant. I bought a decorative box, a shirt that said ” I want to be just like dad” and a set of pink baby shoes, and a set of blue baby shoes. Later that night in my hotel room after supper, I started to cramp really badly, again everything I read said if your not bleeding as well, it can be completely normal. The cramps got worse and worse but I still hadn’t bled at all, so I tried to calm down by telling myself it was okay and not to stress out. I got back from my work trip on Tuesday night and the cramping had pretty much stopped so I just figured it was from stress being on the work trip. That Thursday I still hadn’t had any more cramps but I did start to bleed. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough to scare me. I immediately went to bed when I got home and just relaxed, which is something I am terrible at doing. The bleeding stopped and my cramping still hadn’t come back. I pushed off my lab appointment at the doctors office because I just wanted to wait this out to make sure it was worth going in. The weekend had come and gone and everything seemed to be normal, I was tired, nauseous, emotional and felt very much pregnant that weekend. Monday I went into work like normal at 8 in the morning, a couple of hours later around 10:30 I felt something strange and knew I needed to get to the bathroom as quick as I could. When I went my bad feelings had come true.. I was bleeding a lot a lot and had clots. I called my doctor to explain everything and he said I was having an early miscarriage. I broke down, left work and laid on the couch the rest of that day. My cramps came back but worse than before which lasted at least three days, the bleeding lasted about a week and a half after that. I sat at home and cried; I cried harder than I had ever cried. Sitting at home made me feel worse and overthink the “what could have been”, when the due date would’ve been, if it was a boy or a girl, whether he or she would look like me or William. I decided the next day I needed to go to work to stop overthinking. It was good for me to get my mind onto something else. I didn’t lean on anyone for support, other than my husband. I told my mom a couple of weeks later, and my friend, Katie but no one else. It was difficult. The next month I didn’t ovulate so we couldn’t try again. We tried for a few more months and I quickly got discouraged, every single month I took a test and got a big fat negative. Month after month and no success I asked my doctor if we should start testing to make sure everything was normal. We tested in July and he said my numbers looked ideal, he said if I wasn’t pregnant this round we would do ultrasounds to see if there is any blockage or scar tissue. Well later than month I took a pregnancy test around 10 days past ovulation and got a big negative. I was getting numb to seeing those tests and just blew it off and gave up hope for July. I got a massage a few days later and my massage therapist reads oras and energy. She usually never said anything out of the normal during my massages but after this session she said that there was something different about me and I had a “glow” surrounding me. I was taken off guard because she never said stuff like that to me before. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, so instead of testing when I got home I decided to wait until the next morning. The next morning I woke up around 5:30 a.m. to use the bathroom, I took a test but put it back it the cabinet to develop and went back to bed. I woke up at my normal time around 6:45 a.m. and I went about my normal day and got ready. I realized about half way through I forgot to check on my pregnancy test, so I went to check on the test and it was clearly POSITIVE! Definitely 2 lines on the test, so I took one more of those, and a digital test; the digital test takes about 5 minutes, the results came back with the words “Pregnant”. I was shocked, excited and happy, then I immediately got scared and anxious. I was worried about what happened last time was going to happen again. I went in the same day for a blood test and again in 48 hours. My results came back pregnant and the results were good. The second progesterone level test actually dropped in a matter of two days, so my doctor and I felt it would be best to monitor the progesterone levels. After watching them we noticed they kept dropping and not increasing like they should’ve been. My doctor immediately ordered progesterone shots and I got them two days later, I have to get a shot twice a week in the hip, William administers the shots so its nice we don’t have to make a trip into the doctors office twice a week for a 2 minute shot. My doctor said that around week 12-14 my placenta should kick in and I might be able to get off of the shots, I get my blood drawn every Friday to check my levels. The past four weeks my levels have flat lined, they have not increased but they also haven’t decreased. So it looks like I will most likely have to keep doing shots throughout my whole pregnancy, which will be worth it when its over. I have struggled mentally with the shots because they hurt and with everything else hurting/ changing on my body the last thing I want to do twice a week is get a shot. I am now 18 weeks along and FINALLY just starting to get over morning sickness. I was so sick in the beginning I couldn’t even drink water without throwing up. My doctor gave me Zofran to help with the nausea, I took it every morning and felt great afterwards. About two weeks ago I stopped taking it everyday and went to only when I needed it, which still was about 80% of the time, now I haven’t taken it in a little over a week and have been doing well! In a couple of weeks, on December 6th we get to see our sweet babe again! We are so excited for our big ultrasound, but we are not finding out the gender, we want to be surprised when he/she is born. This will be our 3rd ultrasound as we had a scare around week 9 with my progesterone levels dropping to a dangerous low. At all 3 of them the baby was VERY active and jumping around in there. We can’t wait to see how big he/she is now compared to our 12 week ultrasound. 🙂
That is all for now, my next blog post will be about everyone’s reactions to our big news.